The following is the story of how I came to know the Lord Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour. Before I was saved I went through a time of desperate depression and hopelessness. There were times when I despaired of life itself and felt that there was nothing left for me. During this time I found that writing poetry was helpful. Expressing my feelings in poetry helped to relieve the torment that I felt.

After I came to know the Lord as my Saviour I felt that I wanted to give my testimony and I chose to tell it in poetry. I hope that anyone who reads this who may be going through similar experiences will take hope from what happened to me, and will cry out to the Lord for help as I did, and He will hear you.

S. H. Venour.

When I was young, like other kids I thought mostly of myself. Accepting all I saw, expecting nothing more, I went to school and followed rules like everybody else. Then when I'd grown I set out alone and thought I knew it all. I met a girl, head in a whirl I married - set up home.
But through the years the joy and tears turned more to tears than joy. I loved her still. I always will, but nothing I employed could mend that rift and so we drifted more and more apart. And though we're free, she'll always be forever in my heart.

Later I met another girl; I gave to her my life. I hoped to make another home. I hoped she'd be my wife. That we might then have children; our lives would be fulfilled. But fate decreed it not to be and this love too was killed.

Then all went wrong, did not belong, there was no open door. Darkness fell and I went to hell and once inside was terrified when I saw what lay in store. Through weeks and months alone, living on my own many thoughts and fears ran through my brain. Should I go? Should I remain? Enough to drive a man insane. What must I do now?

Seeing my futility. Fearing for my sanity my mind in torment tortured me till I could stand no more. Not caring if I lived or died, thinking of my suicide. In utter despair I cried "God help me! Please help me!"

As time went by, slowly I began to feel so sure. There was a better way for me. There had to be much more. Then this began to dawn on me, that love and giving was the key for suffering humanity to set each other free. That things were worthless objects. That people mattered more. That if we love each other we would all have so much more.

And if someone does us wrong, don't do wrong in return. For badness will breed badness and they will never learn - no! Give them love and understanding. Try to show them the better way. Slowly they will realize the error of their ways. And then they will respond to us, giving us love in return. And that's a precious lesson for anyone to learn.

We must feel the other person's pain as if it was our own, and then do all we can to help for how can we disown our brothers and our sisters? I know that I cannot. For that is what they are lest it should be forgot. But this will not be easy. There will be times when we will cuss. But nobody is perfect, no not one of us, so we must go on trying however hard it seems. And then we'll make reality those things that live in dreams.

Resolving I would have to try to live this way before I died, I decided I would make a start and try and touch the people's hearts. As time moved on I began to feel that I was being guided. That somebody was there. My path had been decided. I seemed to feel my old life was coming to an end. A new life was beginning, and where will it all end, well, I didn't know that then. I still don't know today. But I knew that I had a friend to help me on my way.

Feelings grew within me, ideas being freed. Conviction growing stronger, we are given what we need.

And then I heard Him speak to me, quietly and gradually, until the full enormity of what was happening to me like a huge wave washing over me, opening my mind to see that Jesus Christ was there with me. And emotion flooded through me. Tears filled my eyes. Sadness and shame for the wasted years, the lost years of my life. Like a mighty blow it hit me. I fell upon my knees; and through the tears that fell like rain I cried "Lord forgive me please! Please, please forgive me. I will try and sin no more." For now I saw the only way as through an open door.

Tears of relief and joy I cried for there is a better way. All the things I had been feeling had led me to that day. My life isn't futile. There is a happy end. Jesus Christ my Saviour will always be my friend.

So now I'll go on trying to live my life His way. And though it isn't easy, He will help me on my way.